Why Don’t We Grow Down? Upward Is Not Always Right!

In our life we often realized that if we will get another chance to grow up then we would have done much better. Instead why don’t we find the ways to grow down.

We constantly do not feel so good about the things as they are. There are hundreds of knots that we want to be solved. These may be unfulfilled wishes, failures, incomplete relationships or most of all these we always miss the time that has passed either with nostalgia or regret.

It is possible sometimes to revisit these times and make peace with our past, present and future. We do not always need to growing in upward. Sometimes make a paused in life and started to grow again from the time we are missing most can changed the life with unimaginable power. So must understand the need for growing down sometimes.

As the life grows so we are. Life becomes series of endless choices and the consequences of that choices become our destiny. We enriched our soul with experiences of life and harvest lots of memories.

“Gradually the decision we make translate into life phases and these shapes our present.”


We all make decisions for growing up because we have to decide direction in which we want to grow up.

As we are on Human Operating System (HOS), we have to make decisions for every thing like deciding breakfast/lunch menu however it takes seconds to decide and has short lived impact on us. Some long impacted (as long as our lifespan) decisions such as choosing life partner, deciding on Career and Job.

But my point here is anyways we have to make decisions then why should we are under the shadow of decisions that are already been taken and impacted our life?

Because we are not only trying to change the future but we are also trying to change the past. Everyday we wish our past should have been as we wanted it to be in present so that we can feel good about it.

These lines by Mark Batterson are enough to understand endless possibilities of our life could have. We are living in one of those probable realities.

“You are one decision away from a totally different life.” -Mark Batterson

Photo by geralt from pixabay

Often I thought about the decisions I have taken so far and I have realized that for all the decisions that I have made gives me vibes only in two ways :

  1. If I feel happy and accomplished then I am tends to thankful for decisions that I have made.
  2. Otherwise If not feeling good then I wish if i have decided to go some other way.

“All our emotions drive from happiness. We are either feel happy or do not feel so . Just like we either feel cold or hot all other seasons are just the derivative of these two.”


Decisions that we made decides the smoothness of transition. Every transition in life have impacted our future that we are going to live. But all these decisions are mostly during particular “Phases of life”. Few phases I have outlined from my own life transitions:

  • Transition from middle school to high school(at age 13–15)
  • From high school to college (at age 17–18)
  • Getting a job(at age 20–23)
  • Choosing among the jobs/ Quitting a job (at age 25–30)
  • Getting married( may be from 25)

Some transition phases can not be pin point to some specific time of life or age they are just independent of time as starting a relationship or friendship.

These phases acts like the Domino stacks for modeling of our thoughts.


Our thoughts are stacked in Domino Type. As we grow we add one domino stack to our thoughts. All are potentially placed in such a position that if one domino falls it hits to the next one and the process kept on going.

Domino Stack From Pixabay

Every day we are carrying a burden of huge Domino Stack of thoughts and keep on adding to it each day. We everyday tried to balance it so that no thought collapses. We all accept that overthinking is the most dominant feature of our HOS.

It is obvious that we can not go back to any of life phases and fixed the dominos as they are already stacking from years. But our daily emotions and how we feel each day is the cumulative effect of these decisions and phases of life.

We can not suddenly changed the way our thoughts behave but we can identified the thoughts that are weak in the stack. The thoughts that are most vulnerable. As in the nature, the plants grow from seeds so as our thoughts from a seeding decision, event or thought. The thought that is we are not so good about we can grow it again to the present time. Looking back to our thoughts may be considered as growing down but its a good thing for “Self-Care”.

#Growing down is always helps to find TRUE OUR-SELF because as the life moves on, we forget our-self and the things that we always wanted to do as a child or as a teenager. We still always wanted to do all these but never ever finds the time to do it until its too late.


Our thoughts are like “Domino Stack” they are stacked on each other and supported by each other.

When we are feeling wrong for earlier point of life that feeling can alter all the successive events. This is like “Domino Effect” of thoughts.

They are good until each of our thought is balanced but even one thought will collapse then it causes all of them to fall. When one Domino hits the next one and the next one hit the next one all started to fall down.

The collapsing of thoughts creates “Ripple Effect” and with this effect even the strongest emotion will be collapsed.

Individual thought is always good and not-harmful but we should always remember our each thought is supported by other thoughts. Then weakening of any these can collapses even the most positive mindset.

Thanks for reading this essay. Always love to know the responses . _/\_



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